Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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