can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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