She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Randomize
