the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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