stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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