dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize