hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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