Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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