I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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