You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
