cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
