Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
