That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
