Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
