so explain again why im purple
no
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
