I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
