you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
