He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
