I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
