we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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