If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
