You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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