new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
