There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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