His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize