i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
