please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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