so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
