We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
