some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
