he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
