So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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