yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
