if i can run in heels then i can drive
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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