apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
