im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
