Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
