note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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