I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
