I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
