If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
