Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
