I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
