You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Randomize
