glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
