then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize