Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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