You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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