i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
