let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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