Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize