its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
