Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
