It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
