I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize