I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
