she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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