I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
