I don't usually arrange sex via text message
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
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