ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
