i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
