FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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