no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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